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Why we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day

14 Feb

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Okay, so we don’t not celebrate it at all….we sometimes exchange cards, I sometimes decorate the house, and I always buy my kids candy or something red and involving a heart. My husband might buy a heart-shaped cookie cake, or heart shaped doughnuts for us to eat. This year I bought chocolate covered strawberries for us. But I see way too many couples (unfortunately, most of them are women) who put entirely too much stock into Valentine’s day. Did you know St Valentine is the Patron Saint of the Bubonic Plague? *ahem* anyways, like I was saying….Too many individuals allow this day to define their relationship and their happiness. I hope they outgrow this.

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One thing that working pretty much my entire adult life in restaurants has taught me, is that a day is only a day on the calendar. I had to work every Valentine’s Day.  (And Mardi Gras Day, And Mother’s Day……) So we never celebrated it.

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I would get flowers at work with a card “Happy Mike Loves you Day!” That meant so much more to me than dinner, roses and jewelry on a day that gets lost in the hustle and bustle of my job (Or now, the hustle and bustle of being a mother). Mike bought me a box of chocolates on January 31st for no reason. He brings me home my favorite ice cream and 6 bottles of wine for no reason, or orders my favorite pizza even though he finds it repulsive.  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I continue to be madly in love with him. Well, one reason.

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Celebrate Valentine’s Day every day, every moment you think of your significant other. Leave a note in his briefcase. Instead of sneaking onto his phone and snooping, sneak and take a provocative picture for him to find. Send her flowers on a Wednesday that say “Happy Hump Day” for no reason. Those are the best valentines….Because there is no reason Valentines has to be celebrated one day of the year, when restaurants are on a 4 hour wait. (Trust me on this one)

Depressing

9 Dec

The holidays for me…..are depressing.  At least right now.  During the day, I am able to put on my reindeer antlers and jingle bell necklace and smile about the Elf moving at night.  I make hot cocoa in the mornings and sometimes at night, and we watch Christmas movies while surrounded by our gleeful decorations.  But I am so sour.  I’m not the Grinch, I don’t hate happiness.  In fact, I love and long to see the happiness of others, especially my kids, to prove that my faking it is worth something.  That I am accomplishing even the smallest of feats in not diminishing the Christmas magic that fills the heart of so many.  Especially my kids.  The fact is that the main family I grew up celebrating Christmas with according to my memories was as follows: My Mom, my Dad, my Nana, My little brother Jake, most times my Aunt Linda, Uncle Stu, cousin Jacki, and sometimes my Aunt Juli, Uncle Butch, and cousins Dawn, Jeff, Heather and Todd.

So back to my basic Christmas.  All I have left is my Dad, and he lives far away.  Even out of my extended family, my Uncle Stu is gone, and my cousins Jeff and Todd are lost in time, never to speak of again.  At least, neither appear to care to have anything to do with me.

I have nothing left from my childhood.

My youngest asked me while we were hanging ornaments, “Mommy, what ornaments are from when you were little?” I just replied “none”  Because with the exception of a stuffed animal and a couple dolls, there truly is nothing left from my childhood.

My husband thinks I am a hoarder.  I refuse to throw away any craft or home-made ornament made by my kids And i think a big part of that is having little to nothing from my family, or even from myself when i was small.  I think about what I could show my grand children about their heritage.  I have almost nothing.  I realize my past doesn’t determine who I am, but it’s still nice to have something to belong to, to know where you came from.

The song “where Are You Christmas” by Faith Hill has always resonated with me.  But no year as much as this.

Where are you Christmas?  I’m looking, but….life is such a crowded path to get to you.